Bad day

Cut me apart divide the pieces leave nothing but the gristle
Yes you said you wanted me said you needed me
But the way you love is all about defeating me
And I always admired you somehow inspired by you
Didn't see that wanting it so bad don't make it true
You want to split me set it on the fire you lit for me
Like the soul you slit from me
And the salt of my tears only burn the wounds
And the hurt only makes this womb a tomb
He says to fight only seals my doom
His love is only fists and threats
His promises only lies and down lets
Unconditional love is not true
Unless its in the mirror aimed at you
I am ashamed or this fooled heart untamed
As though I have no brain
Why the fuck can't u peep game
Till your assets are standing in the rain
And your entire life leaning on a leg thats lame
Every day is a struggle to cope
And all I have is hope

Yesteryears

Yesteryears have passed me by 

tilt my head let out a sigh

These illusions played before

Sad they knew i wanted more

Beat my eyes and steal my heart

ease my doubts and faze the dark

same old sky same old moon 

Troubled nights shadows play the room

if you want me tell me more

show me whats worth living for

hello sunshine whats the catch 

new love

I got a new love in my life

in my life

when its new i scan

wonder about gods plan

once before i loved a man 

i loved that man

i could not see he was no good for me

I was down down to my last chip i had no more to give no more to give

he said it was just fine

and put his hand on mine

His view too dark

 just look into my heart

He broke me apart 

to see the art

vain

it was all in vain

the words were empty space fillers

how you disappoint me

how did i misappoint thee

guess i was lonely and needed some hope

you gave me your pipe you hide behind the smoke

mirrors should have reflected clearer

but what a way to spend summer days

distracted by the maze but me dreams busting at the seams

telling me it seems

about illusion

you cant bring doubt to the table

now im not able

to see past

your mask

cherry blossoms

Under cherry blossoms I cried for you,
Under palms I still weep.
When will my heart feel ease?
Enough to not constantly seek?

All was not perfect!
Never knew a time that was.
But tell me why
Am I haunted by us

I could run to my mothers arms
but no matter her firm clutch
would ease this ache within
of a love that hurts too much

Stretch

You caught my attention

i was on break or at least stretching

reflecting on wants and needs

did not expect the seed to water

late nights his insights

we didn’t touch

still how he clutched me

with the eye contact

bodies react but it was kissing

Let me be heard

When I speak let me heard

Not some ill interpretation

Let it be clear to  the eyes as glass panes

why must my words be jumbled so 

as though

 your own pride blocks you're understanding 

as if your own heart is enemies to mine

though accustomed to chaos,

 why should the oasis not be lasting

 to sear of insignificance,

 that it would come from you 

my eyes burn with a sting

 my mind lost in thoughts

 you who said he loved me 

but shape my words into bitter things

 and cast my feelings back at me 

as though he never loved 

who could understand

 these this that make one wretch from within 

 and leave  a broken toy